My notes from Bijan's CD on Effortless Relationships
Drawbacks from mass consciousness beliefs on effortful relationships
1. Unless you put a lot of effort into your relationships you don't appreciate it and allow it to be effortless
2. Because you have put so much work and effort into the relationship to keep it going you will become so stuck on the other person that you never feel whole and complete by yourself.
3. When the relationship is complete (divorce, separation, death, break up) the investment and the effort has been so great that it makes it very hard to let it go. Very hard to feel complete without the other person. Hard to receive a joyous life in the present or find a new relationship. You keep looking back.
Just because everyone we know lives in effort and misery, we accept it as the way it is.
Start thinking out side of the box. Know that you came to this planet to have fun and joy in your life.
Relationship out of the box
1. Effortless ~ if you could go back to the time before you came to the body you'd remember how excited you were as you were setting up the life you were about to come to. Setting up the events and how grateful you were as other spirits volunteered to play the game with you. You were most grateful to those who volunteered to play your enemies. They're trying to bring up what you don't like about yourself so you can heal it. If you don't remember this, you'll see them as your enemy. You chose to forget so it would be experienced as fresh and new every time. Trust the Spirit that you are and know that when you set up all these events your ego and fear was not there. You put them together from love. You set it up for your own highest good. So everyone in your life came in by your personal invitation.
If you look at your life and see someone you don't like, you'll ask why? Because there was an experience you chose to have, which will allow you to heal some limitation within.. to bring yourself to your highest vibration to get the most out of this experience you chose to forget your agreement with others. Knowing this truth and not buying into the belief system of mass consciousness is knowing you choose all events and experiences.
So in present time, look at what you don't like in your life, notice how you feel about yourself when you think about it. If you want to know the answer ask yourself... do i feel turmoil or peace? Can you clear it by yourself? If you can't, then share with the other how you feel about it. Ask the other can you assist me to heal this issue within myself? It must be shared and not dumped.
The difference between sharing and dumping: Sharing is based on Spirit. Comes up when we know that we are the cause and one with everyone. When we share we are willing to clear the issue with the highest good of everyone involved in mind. Sharing is about taking responsibility for all that's happening and knowing that I am the cause of all of it. Sharing comes from within. How i feel. Not about emotion; what someone did to me etc. Responsibility does not mean blame shame guilt or sin. it means i am capable and have ability to respond to all the possibilities that i have called forth for myself. When i share coming from responsibility then I know i am the cause of what is happening. I see it as an opportunity to get in touch with my powers once again. Take responsibility that you are the creator. Otherwise you are just flopping around depending on whatever they want you to do. Never blame others for the way you feel. Take responsibility for your feelings.
Dumping is based on fear and ego. When we dump we see ourselves as the victim and separate from everyone. By making someone else wrong we can save ourselves and be right.