Wednesday, 23 March 2011

Benjamin Smythe: "Can You Address Jealousy, Infidelity and Feelings of Betrayal in Relationships?"

‎"No wonder I was in hell, I was trying to control another person."

"When relationships become insane, is when I think my partner is responsible for any aspect of MY experience."

"Most troubles in relationships come from the inability to take responsibility for your half of the relationship...which is ALL of you."  

"Nobody can betray me. It's impossible. I'm the ONLY one who can betray me. People will just do what they do and be who they are."

"It's a wonderful dance to be in a monogamous relationship with someone. For all of the reasons it's just a continual reminder that, "I'm here to meet my needs. How clearly am I communicating?  How honest am I being with myself and the other person?  And how responsible am I being for my experience?"

"Nobody is sentenced to someone else.  Even arranged marriages can sneak off in the middle of the night." lol

"You always have a choice.  You don't have to be with somebody and they don't have to be with you.
And when that's really held as true, relationships are much easier.. because there isn't that insane lie that 'i need them' and 'they have to stay' and 'if i don't have them somehow i will be less something.' That's just not true."

"And when you find the one that works, it's so perfect...  You just have to know yourself and then when you do that, you just walk out the door and find somebody.  Cuz it'll never really be about them, you'll just find someone that you enjoy spending time with, someone that you probably laugh more with than you cry with."

"It's available for everyone..I really believe that.  Everyone can find someone that they actually enjoy spending being with and don't have to possess to somehow enjoy that."

Link to video: