Bijan on Effortless Relationships~Difference btw Dumping & Sharing

My notes from Bijan's CD on Effortless Relationships

Drawbacks from mass consciousness beliefs on effortful relationships
1. Unless you put a lot of effort into your relationships you don't appreciate it and allow it to be effortless
2. Because you have put so much work and effort into the relationship to keep it going you will become so stuck on the other person that you never feel whole and complete by yourself.
3. When the relationship is complete (divorce, separation, death, break up) the investment and the effort has been so great that it makes it very hard to let it go.  Very hard to feel complete without the other person. Hard to receive a joyous life in the present or find a new relationship.  You keep looking back.

Just because everyone we know lives in effort and misery, we accept it as the way it is.
Start thinking out side of the box.  Know that you came to this planet to have fun and joy in your life.

Relationship out of the box
1. Effortless ~ if you could go back to the time before you came to the body you'd remember how excited you were as you were setting up the life you were about to come to. Setting up the events and how grateful you were as other spirits volunteered to play the game with you.  You were most grateful to those who volunteered to play your enemies.  They're trying to bring up what you don't like about yourself so you can heal it.  If you don't remember this, you'll see them as your enemy.  You chose to forget so it would be experienced as fresh and new every time.  Trust the Spirit that you are and know that when you set up all these events your ego and fear was not there.  You put them together from love. You set it up for your own highest good. So everyone in your life came in by your personal invitation.
If you look at your life and see someone you don't like, you'll ask why?  Because there was an experience you chose to have, which will allow you to heal some limitation within.. to bring yourself to your highest vibration to get the most out of this experience you chose to forget your agreement with others.  Knowing this truth and not buying into the belief system of mass consciousness is knowing you choose all events and experiences.

So in present time, look at what you don't like in your life, notice how you feel about yourself when you think about it.  If you want to know the answer ask yourself... do i feel turmoil or peace?  Can you clear it by yourself?  If you can't, then share with the other how you feel about it.  Ask the other can you assist me to heal this issue within myself?  It must be shared and not dumped.

The difference between sharing and dumping: Sharing is based on Spirit. Comes up when we know that we are the cause and one with everyone.  When we share we are willing to clear the issue with the highest good of everyone involved in mind.  Sharing is about taking responsibility for all that's happening and knowing that I am the cause of all of it.  Sharing comes from within.  How i feel. Not about emotion; what someone did to me etc.  Responsibility does not mean blame shame guilt or sin. it means i am capable and have ability to respond to all the possibilities that i have called forth for myself.  When i share coming from responsibility then I know i am the cause of what is happening. I see it as an opportunity to get in touch with my powers once again. Take responsibility that you are the creator.  Otherwise you are just flopping around depending on whatever they want you to do.  Never blame others for the way you feel.  Take responsibility for your feelings.

Dumping is based on fear and ego.  When we dump we see ourselves as the victim and separate from everyone.  By making someone else wrong we can save ourselves and be right.

Love Isn't Personal~A Conversation With Carson Boyd

Carson Boyd: So many people lament that it is difficult to find someone to fall in love with. I have the opposite problem. One of my favorite moments from The School with Katie was the evening of the day devoted to relationships. I went up to a woman I liked, looked into her eyes and fell in love with her; no kidding; nothing held back. Then they said switch, and I went and fell in love with another, then another, then another. And I saw that Love isn't personal. Amazing! What this world would tell you is the most personal thing going, and it isn't even personal.

Jeni Shakti Fujita ‎@carson, EXAAAACTLY

Carson Boyd So happy to hear that you understand Jeni!

Jeni Shakti Fujita Don't tell anyone, but I'm in love with SOOOOOOOOO many people and animals right now.... and they each think they are the "only one". What a silly idea!!! Hahahahahahaha!

Jeni Shakti Fujita And then one day i realized, in truth, I am just completely in love with myself ♥ So how can i NOT be in love with you too? ps I had that same experience at The School. AND i fell in love with 2 WOMEN too. Now I'm totally in love with Emily, Maria, Jennifer, Michael (the girl), Susan... how can i even start naming my loves when there's clearly not enough space in this little box...

Carson Boyd Yep, truth be told, there are plenty of men I love as well. I don't find them sexually attractive, but I love them with all my heart.

Jeni Shakti Fujita ya. these days i notice love is way more fulfilling than sexual desire. Plus, I can close my eyes and have anyone I desire sexually, in any moment. I was just saying to Em when discussing partners in intimacy and noticing how we can fall in and out of being physically attracted to them, "Who could be hotter than me FOR me? I'm so perfect for me." It's a tall order to fill..

Jeni Shakti Fujita Carson, can i share your last 3 comments in my Effortlessloving blog?

Carson Boyd That's my experience too, the ebb and flow thing. I used to lament it sometimes, then I noticed that I didn't have any control over it. I'm just a passenger on this bus.
Back to love over sexual desire, I do notice thought that there is something provided, just by touch. At the end of the party, Christmas Eve, it was down to me and three other women. While we sat on the couch and talked I exchanged shoulder rubs with one of them, and it provided such peace, just to have my shoulders rubbed, to touch and be touched.
Then later we all went skinny dipping in the hottub and foot massages were shared all around. Then at one point I was clandestinely stroking the leg of the woman sitting next to me. Such lovely skin, delicious to touch.

Carson Boyd Yes Jeni, please feel free.

Jeni Shakti Fujita Ya touching is cool. Adrenaline rush is cool too. But heart space is so much more expansive. I'd take love over touch. Cuz with love I feel touched on such a deeper level. I don't need more or desire to feel it again like a crack head... it's something that I always have direct access to, even when there's no one else around.

Carson Boyd Yes, my experience is that there is a love which is nourishing and even when it seems to depart, you're not left hungry.

Jeni Shakti Fujita EXAAAAAAAAACTLYYYYYYYYYYYY
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María-José García Anguiano Nourishing love = peace & spaciousness here
Conversation ends here*******************


I was dating this guy and he asks me, "Do you miss me?" So i tell him, "I notice sometimes I miss my son and right away I notice, I'm no longer in the moment.  I'm arguing with what is.  He's not here.  But the sun shining through my window is.  When I miss you, I miss out on the sun shining through my window.  But I love you."  He says, "HOW do you love me?"  I say, "I love you like I love this comfy chair I'm sitting in right now. (gasp! what did she just say? did she just compare me to a chair??" "It's holding me perfectly, supporting my back and I just LOVE IT!  I don't want to MAKE love to the chair, but I love it just the same as I love you. Totally and completely."  Needless to say we're not together today.  But it's true.  How can i love anyone more than anyone else.  I can spend more time or live with one person and not live with the next but once you know you are love, and so is everyone else, how can you not?  It's impossible really.

I'm finding the more I sit inside the love that I am, the less I can differentiate between loves, people, preferences, tastes, favorites etc. I'm in the love of all of it. I am the love of all of it. I am it.


The more I identify as woman, Jeni, mother, daughter, sister, friend, singer, actress, landlord etc, the more I can say, I like this and I don't like that. I love her but I don't love her and I love HIM the MOST. How silly!  How can I love one Buddha more than another especially when they're all parts of ME?  Do I love my little foot any less than I love my eyes?

Mooji was giving the example of ice cubes in different shapes. One a woman, one a man, one a tree, one something else.  They are all water but when identified as woman, man, tree etc there is no convincing them that they are just water.

I am more than my identity and it's funny cause I notice, the only time I really find the urge to argue or prove a point is when I'm identified.  Lately, I've been reading things on Facebook and where I used to get an urge to explain myself or teach something or debate a point, now a few times recently I find myself going....."eh...i have nothing to say."  Space inside space.  There's no me to be found and yet I seem to be observing all of it at the same time... just without interest, point of view etc. And if you disagree with me and your way makes you feel happy then I want that for you. Why would I want to take that away from you?  I want you to be happy.  I want everyone to be happy.  It's nothing personal.

Just as Carson said,
"Love isn't personal."

JeniFuLovingYou

Undress Yourself of the Un Love

"There comes a point in your own seeing that you see the 

same Self in everyone. So to love you is not an act I need 

to make.. it is inevitable..the most natural thing. I cannot 

love your ignorance but I know that behind that ignorance 

is an unchanging truth. As you are, so you will see the world." 

• • You will be relating to each one as your own self.  You are not loving them personally..  it's an impersonal intimacy.. that doesn't have to know you or know about you in order to embrace you, to accept you...not to award love to you.. So when u feel love inside, yes i can say, the love u feel inside yourself is my own self... But we don't say such things.. easy to be misunderstood.
  • 
    
    
    
    ‎It's the arrogance of Ego to feel that somebody should love you in a way..but you are love..It's easy to love love...isn't it? 

    
    

    
    

    But you have to first undress yourself of the UN-Love that somehow gathers itself around us when we entertain the idea of a private self. When that is uncovered then love enjoys loving love. We can say it like this.. We don't have to be cheesy about it but it's how it feels no?"

    
    

    So THIS is why I can love everyone and say I love everyone and truly feel I love everyone even before I KNOW anyone.  Good to hear Mooji make it so clear.

    
    

    Merry Mooji Christmas!

    
    

    
    

    
    

    
    

    
    

    
    

    
    

    
    

    
    

    
    

    
    

    
    

The True Essence of Anyone Is The True Essence of Everyone

Do we fall in love with the person or do we fall in love with our projection of who that person is....?

I am VERY clear that I fall in love with my idea of who that person is.

Mooji confirmed this in this video @ 7minutes 40 seconds and even clearer at 8 minutes 50 seconds.

And when this man asked Mooji, "But aren't I falling in love with the essence of this person?"

Mooji said, "The true essence of anyone is the true essence of everyone."

I have literally been TRIPPIN off this truth for the past few days.... Looking at people on the subway going... whooooooaaaa..... your true essences is my true essence is her true essence is his true essence.... how much more similar we all are than different.  And also how possible it is to fall in love with ANYONE... And I know this to be true for me.. I fall in love almost every day.  And this might sound crazy to you but sometimes I fall in love with a baby on the subway, or an old woman at Starbucks, or a tree or my dog, or a strangers dog! or my heating blanket, or my kid, my doorman, my bus driver... the check out guy or girl... and it goes on and on and on... and now I'm SUPER clear as to why.  It's like I KNEW this truth already in my soul, but to hear Mooji say it so beautifully... makes me even clearer <3 Love is.  You are.  I am.
THIS is truth.  I can feel truth and describe it and still not point at it or call it anything specific.
It's like truth is everything.
Grace.
Source.
Love.
Life.
God.
Goddess.
One.
Light.
Peace.

LINK TO THE Mooji VIDEO http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vA_B1DK87Zk

I love to love you,
JeniFu

Another video link 

Beyond the Concept of "Aloneness"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uies2fHMsrE&feature=related

Effortlessly Loving Everyone?

I notice how in the past I have experienced turmoil and like a robot, tried to convince myself "I choose peace.......i choose peace...." I'm not sure if it ever worked...but in some way, I believe it helped get me back to peace just by changing my focus.  And as my old life coach used to say, "Fake it till ya make it!"  

Today I was reflecting on how we do that and realized (since Byron Katie entered my life) how choosing peace for me, has come from a much different place.  It's like, something "bad" happens and I don't even think there's anything wrong with it anymore.  Someone says some dumb shit and I find where they are right.  And then I thank them and acknowledge them!  What the?!

Example;  The other evening I'm walking by myself in my neighborhood around dinner time, apparently looking quite bootylicious and 3 high school boys come walking towards me.  As we pass each other one of them smacks me on the ass!  In slow motion, as if I were an observer, I turn and notice them starting to run away... then as they noticed my lack of reaction one of them says, "You're just gonna let him disrespect you like that miss?"  

I turned around, smiled, and kept moving forward without saying a word.  I felt total peace.

Then I noticed myself having the thought, "If I were a teenage boy with raging hormones and I saw me sauntering down the street in these jeansI wouldn't have been able to help myself either."  

BOOM!! Peace.

The slap might have jolted me a little but in a matter of seconds I was grounded in peace.

Who that boy grows up to be, who his parents are and how they are teaching or not teaching their son to be a man is none of my business.  I instantly found him right.  

ALL I am concerned with (and I do mean ALL) is MY peace of mind.  Who "I" am as a woman...FULL....whole and complete...grounded, peaceful, awesome, happy, prosperous, joyous, healthy.  Who "I" am as a mother when I go home and feed my kid dinner or wake up with him on a weekend morning... who am I with HIM? HOW am I with him?  That's it.  That's literally ALL I am concerned with.

It brings ME peace to find that kid right.

So I do.

The lady who pushed pass me to get on the bus before me...I noticed myself thinking, "She must REALLY need to get on this bus more than I do."  I found her right and felt peace.  Next thing I know she's turning around apologizing to me saying, "Now I don't know why I just did that.  We're all getting on the same bus and I just cut in front of you, I'm sorry." I said, "It's ok, I figured you really needed to get on." We smiled and it was done.

I notice how often I am doing this automatically now a days... and it makes me smile.

Such an easier existence.

Thank you Me <3

Go ahead. Smack it. I don't mind. lol

Being a Mess~Being Human

The more complete and whole I feel as a "single" person not in a relationship (although i don't really believe in separateness.. for the sake of the illusion I'll speak in those terms), the more I seem to allow myself to be honest with myself and others without any fear.

I've noticed in a relationship, I might have slightly tip toed around, for fear of being left by him or upsetting someone else.  There's also this weird, "I represent my partner" thing that goes on.  The freedom in being single is that there is no one person who can leave you.  I'm the only one I represent. I'm the only one I can leave.  And even deeper than that, in truth... no one can ever really leave anyone and there is a way to feel whole and complete in a relationship too, of course.

Physically, sure someone can leave you, but if you think about the last relationship you were in (or the one you're in now) where does that person exist to you?  Mostly in your mind.  How can anyone else really exist?  Ok, so they come home every day, but if they didn't come home every day would they exist any less in your heart, in your mind?  I know this to be true as someone with a father who passed away when I was very young.  I can't say I didn't have a dad growing up because I believe he has always been around me and still is to this day.  So to say, my father died and abandoned me is not true.  The body goes, but energy is way more expansive.

So say, someone no longer wants to share their energy with you.  They've asked you to stop texting.  Stop calling.  Do they exist any less?  And even when something like this takes place, it is happening to bring you back to you, the only person you're ever really in relationship with anyway (that's a whole other blog topic).  So that person is still doing a very loving act by asking you not to communicate with them anymore.

I guess what I'm experiencing is the beauty of being single, yet knowing I'm never really alone.  The illusion being single creates... in that, I am free to say what I want, do whatever I want, and there's no one to answer to at the end of the day.  No one to tell me, "You shouldn't say it like that, or you could've kept that to yourself."  And at the same time feeling connected to everyone and feeling very open to being in a relationship if it were to organically show up.  I guess also, the next relationship I'm in, I'm going to carry this freedom with me into it.

I'm kind of all over the place here.. Last night I wrote this song, with Mooji... it's kind of where I am today. Messy!

http://www.youtube.com/my_videos?feature=mhum

i hear(t) you

I'm Yours~ "Doing It" With The World

After recording the song "I'm Yours", making a video of it and putting it out to the world tonight i realized something kind of major.  When I've fallen deeply in love with the world... and give myself to it, I can NEVER be alone.  It's almost like, being single is a myth.  Who is ever really single except in their mind?  When I am being The Awareness that sees and is everything, I can never be alone.  I am actually AllOne.  So whole.  So complete.  So open.  So true to who I really am.  I am my Source.  I am knowing this and feeling this tonight, which is so much different than just saying it or understanding it in theory.

Who knows how long I'll stay awake this time.. but what I know is right now, I am awake.  Right now, there is nothing missing.  Right now, I am complete.  I am one with you.  I am you.  And i know you are me.  There's no separation in this realm of truth.  There is literally no one to be with.  No one I can be  disconnected from.

My soul is smiling on me as I have this experience and my Spirit seems to be dancing inside me and all around me at the same time.  Who knew giving of myself in this way, with no rules, no boundaries, no limitations would bring back to me such a feeling of completion and perfection.

Tonight I fearlessly and unconditionally gave all of me, and in return, simultaneously I received all of me back ten fold in the form of my brothers and sisters in the light.

I look forward to doing this in my intimate relationship as well... but what divine practice to "do it" with the world, (which is me), first.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QddCtxUSnSM