Benjamin Smythe: "Can You Address Jealousy, Infidelity and Feelings of Betrayal in Relationships?"

‎"No wonder I was in hell, I was trying to control another person."


"When relationships become insane, is when I think my partner is responsible for any aspect of MY experience."


"Most troubles in relationships come from the inability to take responsibility for your half of the relationship...which is ALL of you."  


"Nobody can betray me. It's impossible. I'm the ONLY one who can betray me. People will just do what they do and be who they are."


"It's a wonderful dance to be in a monogamous relationship with someone. For all of the reasons it's just a continual reminder that, "I'm here to meet my needs. How clearly am I communicating?  How honest am I being with myself and the other person?  And how responsible am I being for my experience?"


"Nobody is sentenced to someone else.  Even arranged marriages can sneak off in the middle of the night." lol


"You always have a choice.  You don't have to be with somebody and they don't have to be with you.
And when that's really held as true, relationships are much easier.. because there isn't that insane lie that 'i need them' and 'they have to stay' and 'if i don't have them somehow i will be less something.' That's just not true."


"And when you find the one that works, it's so perfect...  You just have to know yourself and then when you do that, you just walk out the door and find somebody.  Cuz it'll never really be about them, you'll just find someone that you enjoy spending time with, someone that you probably laugh more with than you cry with."


"It's available for everyone..I really believe that.  Everyone can find someone that they actually enjoy spending being with and don't have to possess to somehow enjoy that."


Link to video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LxjpTyaWVA&feature=related 

Ben Smythe~ How Do You Love What Isn't Permanent?

"Love seems to be the ability to hold completly ..smoke... To love completely..fire, wind..... chasing after the wind...The nature of loving fire and loving smoke is not misunderstanding it's nature.  How to love this world knowing full well that it's made of sand or ice and it's melting..." B.S. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D54VVLewPOk&feature=related

Benjamin Smythe On: 3 Things That Make a Relationship Work

Thanks to Carson for posting this Benjamin Smythe youtube clip!
And thanks to Ben Smythe for being rad!

‎1. No expectations of each other
2. Mutual self interest-Genuinely being interested in similar things and making no sacrifices if you're not interested. (People that think you have to sacrifice in a relationship are people who don't yet know what freedom is.)  Resentment is always the outcome when we sacrifice.  
3. Some kind of appreciation, affection, massage, attention to each other's bodies. The bodies have to meet in some kind of way that is mutually agreeable. The difference between friendship and romance is, the body is involved. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7SpR6wfunA

Enjoy!
Jenifu

Be who you are and love who you be! Cuz then, you can truly rest in peace.

At the end of the night right before you drift off to sleep you can't take all the people you love.

You can't take all the people that get on your nerves either, or your thoughts about them and how you would do it so much better than them.  (I speak from personal experience of course:)

I can't take my kid with me into deep sleep.. can't take my furry kids either.  I can take my judgements, opinions, negativity and bad thoughts with me but then I'll just have bad dreams and wake up tired, so I figure it's best to leave those behind too.  When I go to sleep I don't take my goals, desires and aspirations nor do I take my achievements and accolades.  Deep sleep calls for none of this.  Deep sleep is where I get to rest in peace.  

What if dying was just like that? (it is.)

When it's all said and done does ANY of this crap even MATTER??  

If it feels good keep it, but if it stresses you out, throw it in the garbage, tie up the bag and toss that shit out.  

Tonight I'm real clear that none of it matters.  Even the feel good stuff.  The deal is, if it makes you feel good right now, in the next moment, if that thing goes away or changes, you could lose that good feeling.  And if you're real invested in how others feel about YOU, well get ready to ride the roller coaster of your life my friend.  Let it go!  They're gonna think what they're gonna think.  That's their JOB.  We all see through different eyes and perception is a bitch.  Get real and GET OVER IT.  Let people think what they want.  A great man once told me, "You can't please everyone kid.  There's always going to be SOMEONE who doesn't like you." Sammy Davis Jr.

At the end of the day all i have is how I feel about ME.  Was I honest?  Did I have integrity?  Did I speak my truth?  Did I take care of me (therefore being able to take care of my kid and my animals)?  Did I do my best while I was here?  Was I a good friend to myself first and then others?  THIS is what matters to me.  The apartment, the boyfriend, the husband, the car, the jewelry, the clothes, the shoes, the success, the money, the education, the experience, the lessons learned, the interactions with others.... not so much dude.  Not so much.  

Connecting with others is valuable, yes and experiencing ourselves as The Absolute through interacting with others, yes.  But, the guy who almost hit me with his car earlier because the woman he'd almost hit prior to me threw a piece of food at his windshield and called him a "shit stain".... DOESN'T MATTER.  It's OVER. Leave it on the street.  

Go to bed, with mind empty. Rest in peace with a smile.  

Feeling good about ME is ALL that matters to me because at the REAL end, that's all I'm gonna have to take with me.  When I so called die, I can't take you, my memories will be forgotten, my favorite meal will never be tasted again (all the more reason to chew your food slowly and enjoy it to the fullest).  Sex?  Get it now!   Whether it's with yourself or with someone else!  

Enjoy each moment.  Love the one you're with (especially if it's you) but even if it's a tree or the breeze or a dog or your kid or the bus driver or the stranger in the grocery store...just love. Listen to music. Try doing one thing at a time for once.  Make time for your kids, enjoy your animals, SLOW DOWN, smile more often, sit down and talk to old people, sit down and talk to a so called homeless person, go feed some people at a soup kitchen, donate some stuff you don't need to someone who will use it,  be good to others, call your mother, take your brother out to lunch, write a love letter, tell your best friend how much you love her, give someone a gift for no reason, stop keeping score, drink more water, love yourself, go get a massage, go hiking, get a pedicure, wear comfortable shoes, be yourself for God's sake all the time no holds barred, do what you love!

Be who you are and love who you be!  Cuz then, you can truly rest in peace.

It really doesn't get any better than that <3

Jenifulovesyou

Be who you are and love who you be!  Cuz then, you can truly rest in peace

"Let the beauty of who you are, be what you love." JeniFu

The Happy Marriage Is the ‘Me’ Marriage

I thought this article was interesting and belonged in the Effortless Loving blog.  Enjoy

"The notion that the best marriages are those that bring satisfaction to the individual may seem counterintuitive.  After all, isn’t marriage supposed to be about putting the relationship first? Not anymore..."

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/02/weekinreview/02parkerpope.html?_r=1

When I'm Unidentified, I No Longer "Have A Type"

New realization!
I'm noticing the more I'm identified (believing my story about me), the more I identify YOU (create my story about you).

Example of identification and it's effects: So I have this story about me that I have a type of man... and this guy I just met.... is SO not my type.  He's way too nice.  It seems too easy.  Too good to be true.  You know... he's all the right things, I'm just not attracted to him....

The more I believe my story about me, the more I create and then believe my story about you!
Fascinating!

The more I UNidentify myself the more I notice ANYONE could be my potential partner.

When I am unidentified, I no longer have a type and it's like the whole world has just opened up to me.

*Mooji says "Unidentified, Presence, The Absolute, The Observer"
Byron Katie says "Who would you be without that thought?"  
Bijan says,  "Higher self, True self, Living Above The Line." 
Wayne Dyer says, "I am my Source." 
These are ALL the same thing different wording. 

When I am 'who I am without my limiting thoughts', I know that the true essence of anyone is the true essence of everyone and I can see, appreciate and fall in love with everyone's true essence.

This opens me up to a Universe of men I never even noticed before!
So many new options!   How cool is that?!  

I notice even with this new realization that my personality gels better with some than others and that is perfectly ok too.  It's just good to know that it's just my persona/ego NOT my Spirit that is doing the gelling or not gelling.  My Spirit can gel with anyone who is willing to gel with me.

I'm telling you... it's a whole new world folks... a whole new world!  And the random postal worker with the pot belly and the big heart better watch out cuz this unidentified one is OPEN!  LOL!!!

JeniFuLovesYou <3

The closest thing on Earth to what we are when we aren't on Earth

You know.. when i realized "I" am both the lover and the Beloved, my heart finally knew what it was to be full.  I became my soul mate and everyone else became a bonus.
It's then that I experience unconditional love for everyone equally and the identity of those people disappears into thin essence of the Spirit.  And their essence is my essence is your essence is his essence.  And it all feels good.
And what's behind the eyes of another shines through, and their body becomes this cherry on top that takes that love to a place of body awareness and human form experienced ecstasy manifested through touch.
And that essence that we are, becomes One again when we're together, through physical connection when we feel each other.....
and it's the closest thing we have on Earth to what we are when we aren't on Earth!
It's what hippies would call, "Out of this world maaan..."
What a trip.
Who needs drugs and alcohol when we have all this.
Mmmm mmm mmm.

JeniFuLovesYou

Bijan on Effortless Relationships~Difference btw Dumping & Sharing

My notes from Bijan's CD on Effortless Relationships

Drawbacks from mass consciousness beliefs on effortful relationships
1. Unless you put a lot of effort into your relationships you don't appreciate it and allow it to be effortless
2. Because you have put so much work and effort into the relationship to keep it going you will become so stuck on the other person that you never feel whole and complete by yourself.
3. When the relationship is complete (divorce, separation, death, break up) the investment and the effort has been so great that it makes it very hard to let it go.  Very hard to feel complete without the other person. Hard to receive a joyous life in the present or find a new relationship.  You keep looking back.

Just because everyone we know lives in effort and misery, we accept it as the way it is.
Start thinking out side of the box.  Know that you came to this planet to have fun and joy in your life.

Relationship out of the box
1. Effortless ~ if you could go back to the time before you came to the body you'd remember how excited you were as you were setting up the life you were about to come to. Setting up the events and how grateful you were as other spirits volunteered to play the game with you.  You were most grateful to those who volunteered to play your enemies.  They're trying to bring up what you don't like about yourself so you can heal it.  If you don't remember this, you'll see them as your enemy.  You chose to forget so it would be experienced as fresh and new every time.  Trust the Spirit that you are and know that when you set up all these events your ego and fear was not there.  You put them together from love. You set it up for your own highest good. So everyone in your life came in by your personal invitation.
If you look at your life and see someone you don't like, you'll ask why?  Because there was an experience you chose to have, which will allow you to heal some limitation within.. to bring yourself to your highest vibration to get the most out of this experience you chose to forget your agreement with others.  Knowing this truth and not buying into the belief system of mass consciousness is knowing you choose all events and experiences.

So in present time, look at what you don't like in your life, notice how you feel about yourself when you think about it.  If you want to know the answer ask yourself... do i feel turmoil or peace?  Can you clear it by yourself?  If you can't, then share with the other how you feel about it.  Ask the other can you assist me to heal this issue within myself?  It must be shared and not dumped.

The difference between sharing and dumping: Sharing is based on Spirit. Comes up when we know that we are the cause and one with everyone.  When we share we are willing to clear the issue with the highest good of everyone involved in mind.  Sharing is about taking responsibility for all that's happening and knowing that I am the cause of all of it.  Sharing comes from within.  How i feel. Not about emotion; what someone did to me etc.  Responsibility does not mean blame shame guilt or sin. it means i am capable and have ability to respond to all the possibilities that i have called forth for myself.  When i share coming from responsibility then I know i am the cause of what is happening. I see it as an opportunity to get in touch with my powers once again. Take responsibility that you are the creator.  Otherwise you are just flopping around depending on whatever they want you to do.  Never blame others for the way you feel.  Take responsibility for your feelings.

Dumping is based on fear and ego.  When we dump we see ourselves as the victim and separate from everyone.  By making someone else wrong we can save ourselves and be right.

Love Isn't Personal~A Conversation With Carson Boyd

Carson Boyd: So many people lament that it is difficult to find someone to fall in love with. I have the opposite problem. One of my favorite moments from The School with Katie was the evening of the day devoted to relationships. I went up to a woman I liked, looked into her eyes and fell in love with her; no kidding; nothing held back. Then they said switch, and I went and fell in love with another, then another, then another. And I saw that Love isn't personal. Amazing! What this world would tell you is the most personal thing going, and it isn't even personal.

Jeni Shakti Fujita ‎@carson, EXAAAACTLY

Carson Boyd So happy to hear that you understand Jeni!

Jeni Shakti Fujita Don't tell anyone, but I'm in love with SOOOOOOOOO many people and animals right now.... and they each think they are the "only one". What a silly idea!!! Hahahahahahaha!

Jeni Shakti Fujita And then one day i realized, in truth, I am just completely in love with myself ♥ So how can i NOT be in love with you too? ps I had that same experience at The School. AND i fell in love with 2 WOMEN too. Now I'm totally in love with Emily, Maria, Jennifer, Michael (the girl), Susan... how can i even start naming my loves when there's clearly not enough space in this little box...

Carson Boyd Yep, truth be told, there are plenty of men I love as well. I don't find them sexually attractive, but I love them with all my heart.

Jeni Shakti Fujita ya. these days i notice love is way more fulfilling than sexual desire. Plus, I can close my eyes and have anyone I desire sexually, in any moment. I was just saying to Em when discussing partners in intimacy and noticing how we can fall in and out of being physically attracted to them, "Who could be hotter than me FOR me? I'm so perfect for me." It's a tall order to fill..

Jeni Shakti Fujita Carson, can i share your last 3 comments in my Effortlessloving blog?

Carson Boyd That's my experience too, the ebb and flow thing. I used to lament it sometimes, then I noticed that I didn't have any control over it. I'm just a passenger on this bus.
Back to love over sexual desire, I do notice thought that there is something provided, just by touch. At the end of the party, Christmas Eve, it was down to me and three other women. While we sat on the couch and talked I exchanged shoulder rubs with one of them, and it provided such peace, just to have my shoulders rubbed, to touch and be touched.
Then later we all went skinny dipping in the hottub and foot massages were shared all around. Then at one point I was clandestinely stroking the leg of the woman sitting next to me. Such lovely skin, delicious to touch.

Carson Boyd Yes Jeni, please feel free.

Jeni Shakti Fujita Ya touching is cool. Adrenaline rush is cool too. But heart space is so much more expansive. I'd take love over touch. Cuz with love I feel touched on such a deeper level. I don't need more or desire to feel it again like a crack head... it's something that I always have direct access to, even when there's no one else around.

Carson Boyd Yes, my experience is that there is a love which is nourishing and even when it seems to depart, you're not left hungry.

Jeni Shakti Fujita EXAAAAAAAAACTLYYYYYYYYYYYY
.
María-José García Anguiano Nourishing love = peace & spaciousness here
Conversation ends here*******************


I was dating this guy and he asks me, "Do you miss me?" So i tell him, "I notice sometimes I miss my son and right away I notice, I'm no longer in the moment.  I'm arguing with what is.  He's not here.  But the sun shining through my window is.  When I miss you, I miss out on the sun shining through my window.  But I love you."  He says, "HOW do you love me?"  I say, "I love you like I love this comfy chair I'm sitting in right now. (gasp! what did she just say? did she just compare me to a chair??" "It's holding me perfectly, supporting my back and I just LOVE IT!  I don't want to MAKE love to the chair, but I love it just the same as I love you. Totally and completely."  Needless to say we're not together today.  But it's true.  How can i love anyone more than anyone else.  I can spend more time or live with one person and not live with the next but once you know you are love, and so is everyone else, how can you not?  It's impossible really.

I'm finding the more I sit inside the love that I am, the less I can differentiate between loves, people, preferences, tastes, favorites etc. I'm in the love of all of it. I am the love of all of it. I am it.


The more I identify as woman, Jeni, mother, daughter, sister, friend, singer, actress, landlord etc, the more I can say, I like this and I don't like that. I love her but I don't love her and I love HIM the MOST. How silly!  How can I love one Buddha more than another especially when they're all parts of ME?  Do I love my little foot any less than I love my eyes?

Mooji was giving the example of ice cubes in different shapes. One a woman, one a man, one a tree, one something else.  They are all water but when identified as woman, man, tree etc there is no convincing them that they are just water.

I am more than my identity and it's funny cause I notice, the only time I really find the urge to argue or prove a point is when I'm identified.  Lately, I've been reading things on Facebook and where I used to get an urge to explain myself or teach something or debate a point, now a few times recently I find myself going....."eh...i have nothing to say."  Space inside space.  There's no me to be found and yet I seem to be observing all of it at the same time... just without interest, point of view etc. And if you disagree with me and your way makes you feel happy then I want that for you. Why would I want to take that away from you?  I want you to be happy.  I want everyone to be happy.  It's nothing personal.

Just as Carson said,
"Love isn't personal."

JeniFuLovingYou

Undress Yourself of the Un Love

"There comes a point in your own seeing that you see the 

same Self in everyone. So to love you is not an act I need 

to make.. it is inevitable..the most natural thing. I cannot 

love your ignorance but I know that behind that ignorance 

is an unchanging truth. As you are, so you will see the world." 

• • You will be relating to each one as your own self.  You are not loving them personally..  it's an impersonal intimacy.. that doesn't have to know you or know about you in order to embrace you, to accept you...not to award love to you.. So when u feel love inside, yes i can say, the love u feel inside yourself is my own self... But we don't say such things.. easy to be misunderstood.
  • 
    
    
    
    ‎It's the arrogance of Ego to feel that somebody should love you in a way..but you are love..It's easy to love love...isn't it? 

    
    

    
    

    But you have to first undress yourself of the UN-Love that somehow gathers itself around us when we entertain the idea of a private self. When that is uncovered then love enjoys loving love. We can say it like this.. We don't have to be cheesy about it but it's how it feels no?"

    
    

    So THIS is why I can love everyone and say I love everyone and truly feel I love everyone even before I KNOW anyone.  Good to hear Mooji make it so clear.

    
    

    Merry Mooji Christmas!

    
    

    
    

    
    

    
    

    
    

    
    

    
    

    
    

    
    

    
    

    
    

    
    

The True Essence of Anyone Is The True Essence of Everyone

Do we fall in love with the person or do we fall in love with our projection of who that person is....?

I am VERY clear that I fall in love with my idea of who that person is.

Mooji confirmed this in this video @ 7minutes 40 seconds and even clearer at 8 minutes 50 seconds.

And when this man asked Mooji, "But aren't I falling in love with the essence of this person?"

Mooji said, "The true essence of anyone is the true essence of everyone."

I have literally been TRIPPIN off this truth for the past few days.... Looking at people on the subway going... whooooooaaaa..... your true essences is my true essence is her true essence is his true essence.... how much more similar we all are than different.  And also how possible it is to fall in love with ANYONE... And I know this to be true for me.. I fall in love almost every day.  And this might sound crazy to you but sometimes I fall in love with a baby on the subway, or an old woman at Starbucks, or a tree or my dog, or a strangers dog! or my heating blanket, or my kid, my doorman, my bus driver... the check out guy or girl... and it goes on and on and on... and now I'm SUPER clear as to why.  It's like I KNEW this truth already in my soul, but to hear Mooji say it so beautifully... makes me even clearer <3 Love is.  You are.  I am.
THIS is truth.  I can feel truth and describe it and still not point at it or call it anything specific.
It's like truth is everything.
Grace.
Source.
Love.
Life.
God.
Goddess.
One.
Light.
Peace.

LINK TO THE Mooji VIDEO http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vA_B1DK87Zk

I love to love you,
JeniFu

Another video link 

Beyond the Concept of "Aloneness"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uies2fHMsrE&feature=related

Effortlessly Loving Everyone?

I notice how in the past I have experienced turmoil and like a robot, tried to convince myself "I choose peace.......i choose peace...." I'm not sure if it ever worked...but in some way, I believe it helped get me back to peace just by changing my focus.  And as my old life coach used to say, "Fake it till ya make it!"  

Today I was reflecting on how we do that and realized (since Byron Katie entered my life) how choosing peace for me, has come from a much different place.  It's like, something "bad" happens and I don't even think there's anything wrong with it anymore.  Someone says some dumb shit and I find where they are right.  And then I thank them and acknowledge them!  What the?!

Example;  The other evening I'm walking by myself in my neighborhood around dinner time, apparently looking quite bootylicious and 3 high school boys come walking towards me.  As we pass each other one of them smacks me on the ass!  In slow motion, as if I were an observer, I turn and notice them starting to run away... then as they noticed my lack of reaction one of them says, "You're just gonna let him disrespect you like that miss?"  

I turned around, smiled, and kept moving forward without saying a word.  I felt total peace.

Then I noticed myself having the thought, "If I were a teenage boy with raging hormones and I saw me sauntering down the street in these jeansI wouldn't have been able to help myself either."  

BOOM!! Peace.

The slap might have jolted me a little but in a matter of seconds I was grounded in peace.

Who that boy grows up to be, who his parents are and how they are teaching or not teaching their son to be a man is none of my business.  I instantly found him right.  

ALL I am concerned with (and I do mean ALL) is MY peace of mind.  Who "I" am as a woman...FULL....whole and complete...grounded, peaceful, awesome, happy, prosperous, joyous, healthy.  Who "I" am as a mother when I go home and feed my kid dinner or wake up with him on a weekend morning... who am I with HIM? HOW am I with him?  That's it.  That's literally ALL I am concerned with.

It brings ME peace to find that kid right.

So I do.

The lady who pushed pass me to get on the bus before me...I noticed myself thinking, "She must REALLY need to get on this bus more than I do."  I found her right and felt peace.  Next thing I know she's turning around apologizing to me saying, "Now I don't know why I just did that.  We're all getting on the same bus and I just cut in front of you, I'm sorry." I said, "It's ok, I figured you really needed to get on." We smiled and it was done.

I notice how often I am doing this automatically now a days... and it makes me smile.

Such an easier existence.

Thank you Me <3

Go ahead. Smack it. I don't mind. lol

Being a Mess~Being Human

The more complete and whole I feel as a "single" person not in a relationship (although i don't really believe in separateness.. for the sake of the illusion I'll speak in those terms), the more I seem to allow myself to be honest with myself and others without any fear.

I've noticed in a relationship, I might have slightly tip toed around, for fear of being left by him or upsetting someone else.  There's also this weird, "I represent my partner" thing that goes on.  The freedom in being single is that there is no one person who can leave you.  I'm the only one I represent. I'm the only one I can leave.  And even deeper than that, in truth... no one can ever really leave anyone and there is a way to feel whole and complete in a relationship too, of course.

Physically, sure someone can leave you, but if you think about the last relationship you were in (or the one you're in now) where does that person exist to you?  Mostly in your mind.  How can anyone else really exist?  Ok, so they come home every day, but if they didn't come home every day would they exist any less in your heart, in your mind?  I know this to be true as someone with a father who passed away when I was very young.  I can't say I didn't have a dad growing up because I believe he has always been around me and still is to this day.  So to say, my father died and abandoned me is not true.  The body goes, but energy is way more expansive.

So say, someone no longer wants to share their energy with you.  They've asked you to stop texting.  Stop calling.  Do they exist any less?  And even when something like this takes place, it is happening to bring you back to you, the only person you're ever really in relationship with anyway (that's a whole other blog topic).  So that person is still doing a very loving act by asking you not to communicate with them anymore.

I guess what I'm experiencing is the beauty of being single, yet knowing I'm never really alone.  The illusion being single creates... in that, I am free to say what I want, do whatever I want, and there's no one to answer to at the end of the day.  No one to tell me, "You shouldn't say it like that, or you could've kept that to yourself."  And at the same time feeling connected to everyone and feeling very open to being in a relationship if it were to organically show up.  I guess also, the next relationship I'm in, I'm going to carry this freedom with me into it.

I'm kind of all over the place here.. Last night I wrote this song, with Mooji... it's kind of where I am today. Messy!

http://www.youtube.com/my_videos?feature=mhum

i hear(t) you

I'm Yours~ "Doing It" With The World

After recording the song "I'm Yours", making a video of it and putting it out to the world tonight i realized something kind of major.  When I've fallen deeply in love with the world... and give myself to it, I can NEVER be alone.  It's almost like, being single is a myth.  Who is ever really single except in their mind?  When I am being The Awareness that sees and is everything, I can never be alone.  I am actually AllOne.  So whole.  So complete.  So open.  So true to who I really am.  I am my Source.  I am knowing this and feeling this tonight, which is so much different than just saying it or understanding it in theory.

Who knows how long I'll stay awake this time.. but what I know is right now, I am awake.  Right now, there is nothing missing.  Right now, I am complete.  I am one with you.  I am you.  And i know you are me.  There's no separation in this realm of truth.  There is literally no one to be with.  No one I can be  disconnected from.

My soul is smiling on me as I have this experience and my Spirit seems to be dancing inside me and all around me at the same time.  Who knew giving of myself in this way, with no rules, no boundaries, no limitations would bring back to me such a feeling of completion and perfection.

Tonight I fearlessly and unconditionally gave all of me, and in return, simultaneously I received all of me back ten fold in the form of my brothers and sisters in the light.

I look forward to doing this in my intimate relationship as well... but what divine practice to "do it" with the world, (which is me), first.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QddCtxUSnSM

What Causes Misery? What Causes Joy?

THIS shit BLEW MY MIND!!

The 'wanting' is actually causing the misery.  Believing that I could be lacking ANYTHING actually causes misery.  We imagine, "When I get it I'll be happy.." Ok, so one day you get it and it SEEMS to make you happy but a day later you want something different and here comes misery, dissatisfaction or discontentment once again.  In reality there is no happiness in that thing.  It is the absence of wanting that brings about our natural state of joy.  I can apply this to anything!  From rearranging my apt, finding a new apt, buying a new car, or getting a new haircut, to losing weight, buying new shoes getting a new room mate or looking for a man to be in a relationship with.  Knowing that I am complete and whole just as I am right now.  No thing is missing.  This is it!  So simple yet so easy to forget when Ego takes over. Ego wants us to believe there is always something out there BETTER than this.  The grass is always greener. This hair cut is cute is but what if we went juuuust a little shorter.. or straighter or curlier... maybe we should color it!  

Once again Mooji has blown my mind and I am floating on yet another cloud of awareness.
"Wherever you have intention you will suffer.  Why not just relax and see what life brings." Mooji

Watch the clip; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKELxNm7Uqk

You Don't Have to Waste Time Kissing Frogs.

Although I enjoyed writing my blog on Choosing a life partner, my newer understanding is.... As it is a beautiful thing to be clear about what kind of man I want, The Universe will handle this too.  I am now in a space of total surrender.  What a load off!

Mooji, "You are not The One producing yourself.  Something is unfolding like this.  If there is some trust, you can see how the Universe is moving.  It's moving rather well and it brings a lot of things with it."

Q: And What is a relationship?

Mooji: "That also is the destiny of your programming.  It's inside there somehow. Some beings will walk with you for the duration of this bodily existence.  Some will come with bright promises and lights but they fade quickly.  You cannot determine this.  But somehow in the flow of your own unique river you will see everything is as it should be."

Q; It feels good that I don't need to determine anything anymore..

Mooji: "Yes and yet sometimes in the play it might appear as thought you do.  Sometimes consciousness appears as though it determines something and feel very strongly, but its understood this is the flow of consciousness it wants to do this, go like this and other times it's very passive and doesn't want anything at all.  Include all possibilities because nothing can harm you.  Know that nothing can harm me, even if it takes this body away it doesn't amount to harming me.  When you come to know the REAL me, the real I.  This "I" cannot come and go.  It is the witness of all comings and goings but it cannot be removed.  Then somehow it's like the tree of existence.. it will produce and provide you with the fruits that you need.  Then you will see and say how generous the Universe is.


Q: it has been like this in all the other things so why not in relationships..


Mooji; Because whatever you think to be important YOU want to take care of... and relationship is big wave.  Even you're not responsible for finding the one that is compatible with you.  Grace brings this one.  Perfect timing.  So you don't have to waste any time kissing frogs. lol


link to this talk; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZ3e8Ao76wM

Use Your Single Time To Anchor Yourself In The Truth

Q: What do you have to say to all the single people who are searching for a life partner? 

A: "You don't know how lucky you are." Mooji

(laughter)

"During Satsang, ego thins away and it can start to feel painful being single.  Ego is looking for something/someone to attach itself to to buy some more time. So sometimes we have some forced relationships, quickly, where the ego is trying to hold on.  

Use the time to focus on yourself.  Be secure in yourself.  Someone will come unexpectedly.  Not by your own power searching.. going thru your checklist. Then you bring into this your fullness, what a beautiful thing. In the meantime if something doesn't come along, don't be waiting, use your energy to be steady in the truth.  Don't go into a relationship desperate.  Nobody wants anyone who is desperate, it's such a turn off, don't be desperate.  If you're desperate you are misguided by your thoughts.  Use your single time to throw off desperation and to be anchored in the truth. Then, in the right moment, life brings someone who is so suited to you. This person doesn't disturb your satsang, they actually encourage and intensify your satsang. (satsang literally means “association with Truth")

You don't have to be a Buddha, but have your priorities in the right place.  Don't put that 'the most important thing in life is not to be alone.'  But somehow you understand that this is your dedication to Truth, to your self, your devotion to Truth.  Otherwise a life partner could become a life sentence." lol.

link to his talk; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAVHM6MPx4M

My Newest Blog on Effortless Relationships

My girl Michelle asked me if I would write a relationship blog.  I made some joke about not knowing anything about relationships and not knowing what I would write.  Then a couple weeks later I wrote a blog called, Choosing a life partner is like choosing a running partner. It was fun and cathartic and something that just mystically came to me during a run.

Since then, I have gone into more of a place of surrender with it.  Yes, it's great to know what I want, but even greater than that is to feel whole and complete right now with me.  That knowing, that feeling gives me a great sense of inner joy and peace.

I still don't feel like I know much about anything but I'm going to be writing down some of my experiences, realizations and reflections and sharing them here.  Feel free to peek, or subscribe and share your thoughts here as well.

I am enjoying having a long term relationship with life and all that it brings.  Actually, I don't feel there is anything else "to do" other than enjoy my relationship with All That Is... and tossing ideas around in a blog is part of that too.  So................... here we go!

Choosing A Life Partner Is Kinda Like..

...choosing a running partner.

I went on a run today and noticed how much I was enjoying being alone.  I could set my pace, walk when i wanted to, change direction, run the stairs. And I started thinking... it's also nice to have someone to do this WITH... but not everyone is going to want to go on my crazy route at my crazy pace.

When choosing a running partner, I want someone who can keep up with me, not fall behind or slow me down but also not leave me in the dust.  Someone who shares the love of health and wellness and takes care of his mind, body and spirit.  Someone who can be flexible, someone who wants to run WITH me, being in the moment together effortlessly noticing all the miracles of nature and enjoying the river, the flowers, the breeze, the sun, the sky... not someone who wants to put his headphones on and push through effortfully just to "get it over with" or "make his goal".  

What happens when I choose a cute running partner with super fly athletic gear and a pretty smile?  

I get a super cute running partner who may or may not be a good fit for me.  

What I'm noticing is that the long term relationships/friendships in my life have sustained themselves effortlessly because we are drawn to the same things. Music, social work, self awareness work, effortless prosperity, The Work, Fearless Living, Tony Robbins, spirituality of ANY kind, organic food, dancing, having fun sober...yes sober, deep conversations about life and other deep shit, animals, musical theatre, reggae, kids, clairvoyant work, health and wellness, working out, nutrition, feng shui and it goes on and on and on like that.  

The question I'm asking myself is WHY would I want to be with someone who may love music but doesn't take care of his body and hates cats?  Probably because he's REAL sexy!?  lol.  What I've learned is, that relationship isn't going to last long.  Yet I still have fun while I'm in it and that's all good.  I'm at a place now in my life where I desire to have fun with the ones I'm also most compatible with.  I'm surrounding myself with people who are aware and interested in being connected and living an effortless life.  I'm moving away from those who are into drama, control, chaos and effort.  Having a partner, one partner could be effortless too and I'm totally open to that.

I'm noticing how it feels good to be present and fully in my body when making decisions that will affect my immediate circumstances.  How when I'm in my head fantasizing about "how great it's gonna be in the future." or "how FINE he is, and who cares if he's mentally manipulating and never seems to have any money when it's time to pay the bill.", it never works out and there are usually MANY lessons to be learned along the journey.

Sometimes it's fun to run alone.  Sometimes it's fun to have a running partner.  Sometimes it's fun to have a partner but still go running by yourself, and other times, it's fun to do EVERYTHING with your partner.  All of it is perfect and the question to ask is, "What do YOU want to experience?"

I'm getting clearer every day...

Love.

November 29th 2010